The Dawn

Im sitting here tumbling from my new phone

The Dogs, The Girl, The Woman, and The Boy

The boy was sleeping. He hasn’t had a good nights sleep since he left his parents home. He doesn’t know why. It could be anything. He has been stressing out about school. He quit his job that he didn’t mind. The boy finally had enjoyed a good nights sleep after breaking out in tears the night before. He cried himself to sleep. He was overwhelmed. 

A woman and a girl are screaming. Is the boy dreaming? Is he having a nightmare? 

The white dog is attacking the black dog. The black dog is on the ground. No leash. The white dog has a leash. A little girl holding it. She is crying. The woman is on the ground. She is helpless. She wants to rescue her black dog but she doesn’t want to be bit. She is scared and yelling. The girl starts hitting her white dog. She is yelling “get off him! Please!!” The girl has no power. The woman has no power.

Is the boy dreaming? Is the boy having a nightmare? Is this why he cant sleep? Because he thinks too much? Because he lets everything overwhelm him? He has no power.

The girl starts pulling on the leash. She is trying. She doesn’t have the strength. The white dog is too strong. He is still attacking the black dog. The woman is yelling hysterically. She can’t do anything. “Get him off! Please, Get him off!!”

The boy opens his eyes. He was dreaming. He did have a nightmare. There is no way that really happened. STOP BITING HIM PLEASE STOP!!!! The boy looks at the clock. He slept well. The boy puts on his glasses. His ears start working. He hears it. He looks outside. The white dog is attacking the black dog. The girl is pulling. The woman is on the ground. The boy is in disbelief. This is actually happening. He isn’t thinking too much. He looks at the black dog. Why isn’t he fighting back? Why is the white dog attacking the other dog? Is this how the world is? The boy should do something. At that moment the little girl gets the strength to pull the white dog off of the black dog. She runs away with her dog. The woman runs to her black dog. She starts holding it crying on top of him. She pats the dog and rocks it back and forth. The black dog is alright. What happened? This felt like a dream. This isn’t how the real world is. Or is it?

THE best. 

Life Passing.

How many times have I started a post with I? I this, I that. I don’t remember. Its all fleeting memories.

I grab a glass. I put 4 ice cubes in it. I pour some bourbon up to the line. Now what to do? Why am I doing this? Im not celebrating. I have no reason to celebrate. Or do I? I can celebrate the fact that its a Tuesday. It is a Tuesday, but why celebrate something that happens on such a regular basis. How should I look at this? Am I celebrating because I made it to the next day because there are a bunch of people who didn’t make it to tomorrow. Should I be grateful for that? Is it wrong for me to want more, to desire more, to wish for more. How do I get that more? Is it greed that wants it or do I feel like I NEED it? 

I think too much. I look at my glass. There is 5 ice cubes in it. I spill some of the drink as I take a sip.  Where have the past 4 months gone? I don’t know. I don’t know how I ended up in this spot. I feel like one second I am working in the restaurant underneath my home and the next second I am living by myself while waiting to start training for another job. One second I am in love and then the next second I feel like it was all a dream. It wasn’t a dream but all of those memories are faint now. It wasn’t all as good as I remember it. It can’t be. There is a reason why it ended. There is a reason why I find myself here. What happened? When did life take control of MY life?

I take a drink from my glass and chew on one cube of ice. There are still 5 cubes left in the glass and its still filled with brown “truth serum”. I don’t feel like I’ve lived my life. There is no way this is what I wanted 6 months ago. I wanted something else. I envisioned something else. I didn’t expect for worlds to be destroyed. I’ve been floating through space.  There is no planet in sight. Is that a planet all the way in the distance? No. Its something glowing. What is it? A star? A planet? I think its a planet. How do I control my floating? I don’t know how to get there. What do I do? How do I stop floating?

My third drink is empty. No more ice. Should I get another one? No. Otherwise darkness will engulf my eyes and I’ll wonder what happened the previous night. I’ll wonder if it was all a dream. Was I really in space? Did I really fall in love as quickly as I fell out of love? DId I really have 3 jobs over the coarse of 4 months when everyone says its difficult to find a job nowadays? 

I look at my drink. Its not empty anymore. There is 6 ice cubes in it. I don’t feel like I’m in control. Im being pulled towards the light at the end of space. Wait, there is an end to space? I look around. I see a planet that used to be there. I worked on that planet. I keep floating towards the light. I see another image of a planet that used to be there. I fell in love on that planet. I continue floating. I have no control. I’m being pulled. I quickly pass a planet where there was a lot of heartache. Someone broke up with me. I left two jobs. I left a family behind. Where am I going? To the end of the universe. Whats out there? What am I being pulled towards?…

…And just like that blackness. No more thinking. No more memories. No more wondering. No more questioning. 

A swell song.